Grief Resources

by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

Your grief journey will not be quick or easy. Often it will feel like you are moving backwards, not ahead. But to reconcile your grief, you must ultimately move forward as you work on meeting the following six needs.

Need 1. Acknowledge the reality of the death.
Need 2. Move toward the pain of loss.
Need 3. Continue the relationship with the person who died through memory.
Need 4. Develop a new self identity.
Need 5. Search for meaning.
Need 6. Continue to receive support from others.

RECONCILING YOUR GRIEF

You may have heard that your grief journey's end will come when you resolve, or recover from your grief. But your journey will never end. People do not "get over" grief.

Reconciliation is a term that Alan finds more appropriate for what occurs as the mourner works to integrate the new reality of moving forward in life without the physical presence of the person who died. With reconciliation comes a renewed sense of energy and confidence, an ability to fully acknowledge the reality of the death and a capacity to become reinvolved in the activities of the living.

In reconciliation, the sharp, ever-present pain of grief gives rise to a renewed sense of meaning and purpose. Your feelings of loss will not completely disappear, yet they will soften, and the intense pangs of grief will become less frequent. Hope for a continued life will emerge as you are able to make commitments to the future, realizing that the person who died will never be forgotten, yet knowing that your life can and will move forward.

BARTOLOMEO AND PEROTTO FUNERAL HOME
SUPPORT GROUP.

We hold a monthly support group meeting here at the funeral home once a month. The meeting is typically held on the the third Tuesday of every month, please check the website for any changes. The group offers a nice setting of 10-20 people come together to share their grief journey with each other. We are always open to new people, even if your loved one's funeral was not through Bartolomeo & Perotto. The group is facilitated by William Padulo and Rosalind Secondino. We have several people who come every month as well as those who come from time to time. If you are interested in attending a meeting, please call 720-6000 to find out more.

The help you need in a most difficult time

Grieving is natural and necessary following the loss of a loved one or friend. Sharing these feelings is important and can often be very beneficial. Below is a listing of organizations that can help you through the mourning process. They're arranged by category and include phone numbers, addresses, and websites if applicable.

View our grief support group meeting calendar.

Helpful websites focus on grief:

Loss of a child

SHARE
300 First Capitol Drive
St. Charles, MO 63301-2893
(800)821-6819

Offers support to families who have had a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. Provides a newsletter, network of support groups, literature and referrals.

The Compassionate Friends, Inc.
National Headquarters
PO Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696
(630)990-0010

A self-help support organization which offers friendship and understanding to families who are grieving the death of a child of any age, from any cause. Newsletter available.

AARP WPS is an outreach program in which trained widowed volunteers offer support to newly widowed persons of all ages.

THEOS Foundation, Inc. (They Help Each Other Spiritually)
1301 Clark Building
717 Liberty Avenue
Pittsburgh, PA 15222
(412)471-7779

Publishes THEOS magazine, books and organizational materials for widowed men and women and the professionals who work with them.

American Association of Suicidology
4201 Connecticut Ave NW
Suite 310
Washington, DC 20008
(202)237-2280
email: berm101@ix.netcom.com

After Suicide (Rochester Area Support Group)
Nancy Theis 265-0449
Mitty Tuchrello 442-2409
John & Lucille Ventura 663-8960

How Will I Heal ?......

Every Mourner Has Six Central Needs

The help you need in a most difficult time